Approaching women in nightspots

No matter how hard you try to deny it, most men who go to nightspots would hope to get lucky. By getting lucky, I mean approaching women/get approached by women and ends up having sex, hopefully for free.

However, most men lack the balls to approach and a large percentage of guys who approach often fails.

So why do most men fail? First and foremost, women who are at clubs or nightspots have a natural defensive mechanism. If they are pretty and hot, it’s almost a GIVEN that they MUST not appear easy and this natural defensive mechanism is the one that repels most men away. It gets worse if they are in an all girls’ group. They would start ‘imagining’ that they have to protect each other from lustful wolves lurking around the club.

dont even think about it!

You see, this group of hot women in any other circumstances (say in an office environment) would be so much more friendlier. But put them in a nightspot and they transform into some kind of ‘dao bitch’ (dao: unapproachable)

While I do not profess to be some kind of dating guru, but there was a period of my life that I was pretty successful at picking up hot girls. (credit to THE GAME – Neil Strauss). So for those who haven’t read the book before, let me share some ideas with you about picking up women in nightspots in Singapore.

First and foremost, you have to overcome approach anxiety. Approach anxiety is nothing more than a fear of rejection. And fear of rejection is nothing more than a scenario created in our minds which is not real. Mentally, we paint a picture of how the girls are going to reject us. How our friends will laugh. How strangers nearby will look at us and proclaim us to be sex fiends. Well, all these are not real but simply images created by our minds to delude us.

A wise man once said that if an extremely lousy salesman were to make 25 phone calls a day to try selling to prospects, even if he was the worst salesman in the world, he would still get sales simply based on the law of numbers. Apply that to approaching women. If you face rejection from a woman, move on to the next and the next and then the next and then again. You get the drift. If nothing else, at least you have increased and worked out your courage. That is self improvement.

Once you have got rid of the approach anxiety, the next thing to do is the opening line. Which is where a lot of great men falter. I have seen too many guys start off with something like “Hi. You come here often?” “Can I buy you a drink?” “Can I be your friend / know you?” or some other sleazy opening line like “I just lost my number. Can I have yours?”

You see the problem with such opening lines is not so much as the line itself but what kind of response you can get from the woman. What do you expect her to say other than a one line reply which most likely would be no. You see once that happens, it crushes your ego and most men would just retreat, thinking the woman is not interested. For those sufficiently intoxicated enough to carry on with the conversation, they make it doubly hard to impress the girl.

So what should you start with? Ask her for an opinion. Better still, ask her for an opinion that can lead to a story. For example. “Hi. Can I ask you for an opinion.” 19 our of 20 women are going to say yes or nod their head. For the remaining one, their asses are too tight for you to get involved anyway. Once she nods her head just ask casually “Do I look gay in this shirt?” or something involving a friend like “Would you keep your ex boyfriend’s photo in your wallet?”

An opinion question allows you to carry on the conversation in the most natural way. The follow up story telling is important. You should try to exhibit a certain degree of humor as well as raise your worth in her eyes. For example.

“Hi. Can I ask you for an opinion.”

“Yes. Sure.”

“Do I look gay in this shirt?”

“No. You look good/ok.”

“You know why I ask? Cause just now in the toilet, this guy came up to me and ask me to share a cubicle with him. Can you believe that shit?”

Now. A reply like that would generate some laughter as well as show her that you are wanted albeit by another man, thereby raising your worth in her eyes. On top of that, it allows you to carry on the conversation in a non threatening way. You can basically keep bullshiting about the gay dude in the toilet or talk about the times you were always stared at when you go swimming. The list is endless.

Some people are asking : So should we lie? I would honestly suggest not. But you can exaggerate. Make your life larger than life. that’s what attracts women. Who would be interested in some dude who’s like normal and boring?

Next, if you are confident enough, just carry on with a good interesting conversation. But always try to tell an interesting story or sell yourself as someone unique with unique and very interesting experiences. If you can’t think of anything interesting to say, you can play some interesting games that are funny and yet intelligent. Before you go “WAH LAU EH! Games! Don’t be childish leh!” Take a look at this video first.


Pretty neat stuff right? I mean this is just one of many you can really do. Basically the idea is to make it playful, fun and humorous.Once you get the vibe that the woman is pretty interested in you, go ahead and asks for her number. A simple “I got to get back to my friends but you seem pretty interesting and I would like to stay in touch. Give me your number.”

Chances are if you have done everything right and she doesn’t have a boyfriend/husband and she is not too stuck up, she will give you her number or at the very least her email or facebook.

So there you have it. Go out there and practise.