What not to do when approaching women (or boys) from the Internet

I was speaking with a girl friend the other day and she was lamenting how she got approached by tons of losers on facebook and tagged everyday. It really cracked me up what some of the guys are doing to gain her attention. So to summarize our conversation, here is a list of things NOT to do when approaching women from the Internet.

1. Don’t start your introduction with a commentary about her physical attributes, especially her breast or cleavage. I know for guys, the moment we see a photo of a hot girl with big boobs in a bikini top, we will be going, “This girl’s boobs are damn delicious!” Try to keep a hold of yourself and not write those words to her. Understand that most other guys will be thinking the same and probably a ton of guys would have sent her the same type of ‘compliment’. So please dont screw yourself up by making an innocent comment like that. Once you get into her ‘horny bastard’ mode, it will be very difficult to get out of it.

2. Don’t copy and paste a long essay of introduction. I know you want to save time and try to send as many messages to as many women as possible. But please know that the girls are not stupid. They can smell a ‘cut and paste’ intro a mile away. And trust me. A truly hot girl won’t reply to that.

3. Don’t start with “Hi. Can I be your friend?” unless you are still studying in Primary one. Who the hell even says things like that nowadays. Do you go up to a girl in a club and say this? This has to rank as one of the most loserish statement ever. Are you so desperate for a friend that you go around begging people?

4. Don’t send a half naked photo of yourself working out at home. Ok, I know you are very proud of your body ever since you started going to the gym two times a week. But sending a photo like that tells the girl that A) You think you are damn hot and B) I am a loser who thinks I am damn hot

LOSER

5. Don’t start with any sexual requests. It doesn’t work on normal girls. Only transsexuals and prostitutes. I know sex is probably your main motivation for prowling the internet but you really don’t need to broadcast this, especially in your intro. Worse, they could keep your message and sue you for sexual harassment later.

Since we are on this subject, I just read yesterday’s newspaper about a school teacher who befriended young boys from the internet. Apparently, he starts by telling them he’s an avid gamer and then proceeds to request for sexual favors through sms. I mean, how stupid can one get? SMS to small boys about sexual favors?

As expected, the boys complained to the parents and he’s caught almost immediately. His picture is on yesterday’s copy of The New Paper. You can read the news from here.

While I am in no position to judge since I am no saint myself, but this guy’s actions have to rank as one of the dumbest I have seen in recent history.